Wherein Bry has favorite things.

NOTICE: This blog was recently edited by a sober Bry that woke up at 4am for work and thought "Did I take a lot of cold medicine last night and also drink a glass of wine and then blog?" Only to check and discover that is exactly what happened.

Oprah ain't the only beyotch who likes things. I like things, too. Lots of things. Things that have arms and legs. Things that sparkle. Things that look like puppies and wiggle around and lick your hands. Okay. Maybe just puppies that do that since I've met some uggohs out there that behave like puppies.

So here is my list of my favorite things right now.

1. Rain boots. My Momster gave me some rain boots and they are amazing. My feet don't get wet. Imagine that! Proper foot attire in rainy weather is necessary.

2. My super hot friends that have been super awesome to me as of late. Kooter is so pretty and funny and nice. The Beast read my minds and got me a haircut at Dosha! AM and MK and pie. RO who reminded me over the past month how much I appreciate her amazing support even though we don't see each other much. LL for checking on me when I was sick and inviting me to spend Christmas Day with her (though I didn't because I slept on the couch with the sick sweats rather than infecting the public). CJ for being my Scrabble buddy.

3. AA for being a great addition to my Partly Cloudy Hobo Express and a good roommate. He did the dishes and bought toilet paper today. I was about to resort to napkins, but I'm a class act.

4. This yummy bottle of wine and Trader Joe's for growing the grapes and hiring little xxxxxx (this word removed due to my liberal guilt and possible racist content) to stomp the grapes into some super delicious wine with their tiny little nubby feet. Did I mention this wine was delicious. Did I say something racist? Crap.

5. Books.

6. Wine. (I believe I already mentioned this).

7. A nice almost-man-friend who thus far is not mad at me for being a commitment-phobic beyotch. (I am not a beyotch).

8. Wine. (Again?)

9. My recovering health.

10. Wine. (Oh Jesus).

Wherein Bry invests in some risky ventures.

I've been tiring of my hobo ways, but just when I think I've gotten sophisticated and classy, I get pulled back in. I'm pretty sure I bring it on myself.

About a month ago we started getting these pay out bonuses at work for selling membership cards. Because 10,000 people work there and it is split amongst the employees, we get less than $10. I decided to invest mine wisely in some scratch-it lotto tickets.

A little foreshadowing, I'm too lazy to be a gambling addict.

After buying a burrito, I invested the remaining $3 of my payout into some $1 tickets and promptly won $2-3 on each ticket. So I invested the winnings again. And promptly won some more. And again. And won some more.

On about my fourth trip to the Plaid Pantry, I started to get tired of the whole scenario. Part of me was all "But what if you win the big pot?" and the other part of me was all "I'm only a block away from Snuggie. Screw this."

But 30-year olds are supposed to be mature and responsible and I made a commitment and the only way to fulfill it was to go and buy some more lotto tickets.

And win a handful of change and invest again. And again.

The Plaid Pantry girl started giving me dirty looks.

Last night I asked CJ to go for me. Please? I asked, thinking a new hand would spoil the luck.

He bought two tickets, I won $30.

Fuck.

I kept $20, bought 5 more tickets. Won $10. Bought 3 more tickets and...


Thank god, I am down to ONE ticket worth $1.

Which means tomorrow could be my very last day buying scratch-its.

Until next pay day.

When I get another payout.

Fuck.

Wherein Bry is trying to grow up.

I've been slightly less hobo of late.

I have four walls.
No extended Snuggie time.
Fewer burritos.
I've stopped carrying around a large chunk of my belongings in a bag everywhere I go.
I may have expressed adult feelings in a rational manner without feeling bad about them later.

There is some growth!

Last night was gift exchange night with CJ and I have to say, I'm beyond excited about what I received. But you will have to wait and see because he is not actually giving it to me until Thursday before he leaves town.

I will be sure to give you an update.

Thursday is also Christmas tree decorating day. Also very excited.

So far living with AA is going well. He is a good roommate in that he can't complain about what I do and and he also has no belongings. Well, to be fair, neither of us do. But for right now we have no passive aggressive arguments over who gets to put their stuff where.

He doesn't mind that I sometimes don't come home at night and I don't mind if he doesn't. He thinks it is funny that I started a Twitter about him. He goes to the store when I demand cookies.

A match made in grungy heaven.

Wherein Bry is tired.

I'm in the midst of the holiday season. Which means I'm in the midst of working and sleeping. And I don't like it.

I put my schedule into Gmail Calendar today and it pretty much made me want to cry. Once again, for at least two more weeks, unless someone wants to hang out with me before 10am and after 10pm, I'm unavailable. I can't do this anymore. I really can't.

My brother arrived last night and he brought me a kitchen table and a bench that BN made. Furniture, how nice!

And....


A tree!


I know everyone thinks I'm anti-holiday. I'm not, really. I do like certain parts and I do like it all in moderation. A tree can be in moderation.

So Tuesday I plan on decorating the tree. Again, may I add, a tree!

The other day at work, a woman asked me what section we shelve the friendship books in. I asked, "Maybe quotes or something inspirational?"

No. A good fiction book about friendship. I offered to recommend some things but she just wanted to see the section, which I had to explain didn't exist.

If only we categorized books by feelings and human characteristics.

And unicorns. Where is our section on unicorns and rainbows? Oh wait, that's called sociology.

Another frequent question is "How is this alphabetized?" What do you mean? Have you ever been to a library? When do you see books alphabetized in any way but by author's last name?

I swear. By the moon and the stars in the sky.