Dear Vampires:
You scare the shit out of me.
Not the posh fancy label whore fast car driving types that live in Forks, WA.
The real vampires. The kind that will tear your throat out so fast the only thing you see is the concrete rushing towards your face.
Now some may say "Bry, Vampires don't exsist."
To them I say, I don't care. The kinds I read about in books are scary enough.
Last night I was sitting in the park waiting for the bus. It was dark and the bench was not seated near a light but I had about 25 minutes to wait so I decided to read and it is hard to read while holding two grocery bags and my huge ass purse. So I sat down in the dark park and read. A book about vampires.
Yes vampires! Books about you! Do you ever read a book about your self and think, they are getting it all wrong! And then sue? Well you should sue in London because it is easier to get a settlement there where you don't have to prove emotional distress like here in the states.
Anyways, I digress.
So sitting in the park reading about scary little child vampires is not a good idea. I'm talking about Let the Right Ones In which is not my normal cup of tea for reading material. However, vampires are the new black, the new Crocs, the new Louis Vuitton clutch purse.
I should mention that I am a bit afraid of the dark. Not in a juvenile sort of way. I don't have a night light and actually prefer to the bedroom to be as dark as a mining cave at night. But I get scared easily when I'm wandering about in the night. You never know what's out there. I think I am more afraid of aliens than the dark. When was the last time someone reported seeing an alien in broad day light? I don't like wierd, gross looking stuff. This is why I don't watch Star Trek, Star Wars or any other space related nonsense.
But I digress, again.
The point here being, I am scared of you. I will not be inviting you in for tea. I will not stare into your eyes so that you can draw me in before eating me. I will probably be a little rude, which is not the way I was brought up.
I am asking you to keep walking when you see some nerdy looking girl sitting on a bench in the dark reading. That nerdy girl could be me. And I am pretty awesome and I think people might miss me.
Warmest Regards,
Bry
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