I'm "single," or as RF told me, "a playa." I can't be tamed.
Actual conversation.
CJ: I'm going to a wedding over Halloween.
ME: (frozen in fear that he might ask me to go with him)
CJ: I know you hate Halloween but (at this point I'm about to die) can you help me decide on a costume.
ME: (trying not to sound relieved) Sure. What do you have in mind?
CJ: Zombie? Something Star Wars?
ME: Have you considered going as a doctor or a lawyer.
CJ: (his brow furrows and I can see he is trying to censor his response).
ME: (I decide to make it worse) How about Mr. Darcy?
CJ: Okay. Now I know you are just messing with me.
ME: I'm horrible at this. It maybe part of the reason I hate Halloween. Aside from all the made up crap. The only costume I ever wore that I like was a a dress slip and a name tag that said Freud. I was a Freudian slip.
CJ: That's clever.
ME: Yeah. I wore it to a frat party.
CJ: (quiet and a little frown)
ME: That's sounds worse than it is. It was the gayest frat ever. Well that sounds bad too. They were not all actually gay. Well not all of them. But some. I'm trying to say, in the most offensive way possible, apparently, that I wasn't there to meet guys. I was there to hang with my girlfriends. (he raises his eyebrows). Friends. FRIENDS. This conversation is going down hill. Let's rewind.
CJ: Okay.
ME: I think you should be a zombie lawyer.
You should have presented him with a copy of "Pride & Prejudice & Zombies", that would have then put your Mr. Darcy suggestion into context with his initial ideas...
ReplyDeleteJust proof that you weren't as utterly non-sequitur as he may have thought you were.
I'm just saying.
- Mike Y.
I'm pretty sure he wants to murder me since I admitted I've never watched Lord of the Rings. I'm on thin ice.
ReplyDelete