Adventures in Nerd-dumb

I like to pretend I'm wicked smart, but the truth is I only know enough to be dangerous in a drunken conversation at the bar.

 

One of my favorite memories of my college roommate HB occurred post-graduation, but pre-real world, during that magical summer you say is your time off because your earned some fun after spending 15 years in school.

 

HB and I were sitting in some now defunct bar in McMinnville, OR and were approached by some drunk dudes who bought us drinks and got us, eventually, into a conversation about politics. HB and I, just off four years of political science classes and full of vim, let 'em have it. The full force of our righteous indignation and anti-Bush sentiment poured out of our mouths faster than the beer from the tap.

 

Later, as we left the bar, I remember feeling satisfied I'd bested some townies at political discourse.

 

In retrospect, 8 years later, it reminds me of the scene in Goodwill Hunting when Will calls out the douche in the bar for making fun of his friend.

 

"...is that your thing, you come into a bar, read some obscure passage and then pretend - you pawn it off as your own, as your own idea just to impress some girls, embarrass my friend?"

 

But we were the asshole and I much prefer to be Will. I'm scrappy like that.

 

For about four months now, I've been regularly attending a weekly pub trivia night. For about four months now, I've regularly felt dumb on a weekly basis. 

Here is a list of things I know nothing about:

 

geography

presidents

capitals of states and countries

science

space

Animaniacs

 

 

Here is a list of things of which I know too much:

 

80s rap music

anything ever published in People magazine

strangely, famous paintings

TV

reality TV

 

Everything else is a dark hole.

 

Because AA is a Quiz Master for Quizzy trivia, we wrangled an invitation to Testicide. Testicide is a city-wide quiz competition that is supposed to be the best of the best. I think there were between 150-200 people competing in teams of up to 7.

 

There were nerds as far as the eye could see.

 

That dude sitting to the very far right, with the plaid shorts, and probably hitting on a table full of straight dudes, is AA. My roommate and gay house husband. 

A funny thing about nerds, they are all perverts with perverted team names.

 

Push, Push, Spit.

 

Gross.

I am sad to say we didn't win. The $200 prize for being the smartest nerd at the bar would've been nice. 

I am happy to say, we also didn't come in last. 

Middle of the pack. 

How do you like them apples?