Wherein Bry tries to stay awake.

If you needed anymore proof of my old lady status, you should have stopped by my apartment at around 6pm last night. At approximately that time, I was laying on the couch in all my Bry glory, asleep. I am happy to report I was not wearing my Snuggie. However, and this is true, at about 5:45pm, I Googled "fancy glasses chains." I was not satisfied with my options. Of which there were zero because only old people wear chains on their glasses and old people are not fancy. All that Google-ing took the spit right out of me and I fell asleep mid-30 Rock episode.

I slept until 1:30am when I woke because I was positive someone was trying to break into my apartment. Another sign of old age. I always think I hear burglars on the landing. And the burglars always turn out to be the wind, or a tree branch hitting the apartment building, or my imagination. Or maybe there really are burglars and they are scared off by my turning on the lights. Either way, I'm thinking I might be in the baseball bat buying business. There is nothing scarier than a crazy lady in a Snuggie carrying a baseball bat.

Because I slept for 7.5 hours, about twice as much sleep as I normally clock, I was wide awake. It also could have been latent burglar-induced adrenaline. I was scheduled to wake up at 4a.m but it seemed silly to lay in bed for 3 hours. So I got up and cleaned the house from top to bottom , baked a loaf of bread, and organized my papers.

Okay, that's a lie. I got up and drank a pot of coffee, read some dirty romance novels and stared at my face in the mirror for about an hour. No need to bust out the lie detector, that is the truth. I'm even more of a lazy bum in the middle of the night as I am in normal people hours.

The downside of these middle of the night activities is my current state of exhaustion. Right now I'm at the library. I figure I can't fall asleep in public, right? Oh wait, that is #5 in the top 10 things old peolple do daily.

My goal from here is to go to the grocery store. Because I am completely incapable of walking by Fred Meyer's without going in and buying something. Then I'm going home to drink one thousand gallons of coffee. Then I'm going to find a Bry sized diaper because after the gallons of coffee, I will surely fall asleep and be in a coma for the rest of the night.