Yesterday at work we were talking about secret babies, as in celebrities who suddenly said, oh BTW, we had a baby.
Like Sandra Bullock and that dude who played Denny on Grey's Anatomy. The one that looks like an older, fatter, stoned Javier Bardem.
And I realized, that where my family is concerned, I could have a secret baby. There are times when I go 12+ months without seeing my parents and siblings.
"Hey, great to see you! I can't believe its been nine months. Let me bring in my luggage. Oh, that crying? That's my baby. Yeah. I had him/her a month ago."
Disclaimer: I would never do this. I'm many things, lots of them unflattering, but I am not an asshole. Although, I'm pretty sure my Mom would say "Let me hold my grandbabby" and forget about where he/she came from.
Speaking of things that are percolating just below the skin, I realized that I need to add a spinster-ish card game to my old lady skills (I got skills, they're multiplying, and I'm growing older. The power they're supplying, it's spinster-fying!).
I need someone to volunteer to teach me bridge, cribbage, or pinochle. I need to be well-rounded in my old age.
I started taking the one-a-day vitamin that Mom, I mean Santa, put in my Christmas stocking (Thanks for contributing to my delinquency Mom). And my tea intake has increased.
Now I just need a rocking chair and a heating pad.
With a little work, I can have it all.
I had to pop in when I saw you liked swearing. I am also prematurely old. I just got a rocking chair. I hate hot tea, though. I look forward to the part when I say whatever I think as I'm thinking it and I just don't give a fuck.
ReplyDeleteI don't acall myself old, but am an old soul....if I had a soul, that is. I like to play Scrabble and while I don't have a snuggy, I do have a cat who sits on my lap all the time. When do we move into a a senior citizen trailer park?
ReplyDeletei must learn pinochle with you. some of my fondest memories of my grandparents are when they took me to the VFW to their weekly tournaments.
ReplyDeleteYesterday I was watching Opera, which I had to DVR. It was the show with all the Twilight folk. And I realized, this is the Spinster Triple Crown!
ReplyDelete@Andi - we need to find two more people. I think we need 4.
Yikes! My spell check changed Oprah to Opera! I'm gonna leave it!
ReplyDelete