Wherein Bry is just happy to be alive.

Here is a story to prove how much you love me, because I am the only one who will tell you stories like this.

Yesterday I woke up at 5am and the first words out of my mouth were "Mother fucking son of a bitch."

I have spelled out the full swear rather than masking it with one of these, $@*!, because I want you to feel the full force of my dirty, Orbit-less mouth.

See, it was 5am. And in order for me to get to work by 6am, I have to be in a carpool exactly at 5am and the carpool doesn't wait.

So other than being more than an hour late (not an option when it is your job to let everyone in), I would need to take a cab. I called a cab and then took a three minute shower, dressed, and grabbed my bag. I then proceeded to wait for 25 minutes and was about to call a rival cab, when the driver showed up.

Right from the start, he was a real charmer. As if it were my fault that he was late. That he was now going to be late getting the car back and would probably be fired. That, Holy Crap!, we have been driving for five miles and the meter is not running!

Not to mention the lethal speeds he was traveling at, weaving in and out of traffic.

And not to mention complaining about the distance and asking if he could drop me closer.

"With all due respect Sir, I said up front I was going to Lake Oswego and you accepted the fare."

And then he almost hit someone. Rather than being concerned about the person he nearly ran off the road, or me as his passenger, he asked "How much further? Where can I drop you?"

At this point, I could see work in the distance, and we were near the shoulder of the exit I needed, so I said "Drop me here." And he did. No questions asked. No "But ma'am, we are on the freeway!"

I threw a wad of $5s over the seat, which I thought was $15 but was only $10 (I found another $5 when scrounging up money for coffee). Really, I should have paid him zero. The actual cost would have been $30, so he got screwed in the long run. Not to mention that he probably lost his job when I called to complain later in the afternoon.

But wait! The story isn't over.

As I'm walking down the ramp off the freeway (a gentle slope, not an actual ramp), a car pulls over. And it is TS.

I get in and he is shaking his head. This is what he told CPR later:

"I was driving down the freeway and I see a cab pull over and someone gets out. I think who would get out of a car on the freeway? And then I realize it is Bry."

Later I told my boss, "You will probably hear this rumor that TS found me on the side of the freeway this morning and I have to say it is true. I'd like to say this sort of thing never happens to me but that would be a lie."