Wherein Bry is the mother.

If you recall, in my birthday blog, I mentioned some craziness on my birthday evening. This was way past the super delicious Thai. Way past the drinks at Moon & Sixpence. But just before the hangover.

Not to be confused with The Hangover, the movie. While Portland is pretty exciting, this ain't no Vegas story. About as exciting as it gets is (SPOILER ALERT) too many whiskey sours, a penis shaped donut, drinks with some baby homos, and me with a memory of it all.

The real point of this blog is to talk about me being WAY TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT (WTOFTS), something JY and I said to each other with increasing frequency over the night.

Sadly, it was like being in a car on an icy road. You know you need to apply the brakes, but are afraid doing so will send you into a tailspin. It seemed like a better idea to ride it out and not risk the wreck.

I like a lot of things about my life. They include but are not limited to the following:

- My Snuggie

- Sleeping a lot

- Napping almost as much as sleeping

- Drinking coffee

- Watching movies

- Pride & Prejudice

- Having an acceptable (socially, bladder-ly, liver-ly, economically) amount of drinks with people I know and/or people I'm interested in learning more about.

They do not include the following:

- Not getting enough sleep

- Drinking too much

While I absolutely had a great time on my birthday, and love and appreciate those who made it happen, I know that I am now WTOFTS:

- Staying out to last call, especially when I know I have to be up early

- People who look 12, have IDs that say 21, but act 15 and talk like they are 30.

- People who are 22 and in open relationships because their wife wants a girlfriend.

- Bars full of people of the above 12:21:15:30 ratio.

- Bars that are really clubs

- Bars that do not serve food

WTOFTS


Funny story, I wrote this blog the day after my birthday while I was on the bus to meet SE and head to the coast. Last night I finished season 4 of How I Met Your Mother in which there was an episode about Ted being "too old for this shit." This is a direct quote of Danny Glover in Lethal Weapon. Seriously?

I guess this means I AM THE MOTHER. Ted, I am waiting for your call.