c'est la vie, baby

Today was day one of unemployment and it went a little like this:

wake up at noon.

text my roommate to explain I was alive, and no I did not sleep through work, because I don't have a work to go to.

lay in bed and wonder what sort of universe I woke to where AA was awake and industrious.

coffee.

lay on the couch and watch mad men.

apply for unemployment.

go to coffee with LM.

nap.

went to the store and made the roommate buy toilet paper and ginger ale.

trivia in Sellwood.

drink beer.

facebook.

watch more mad men.

watch awkward.

write this blog.

That's a lot of things! See! I did stuff.

In reality, I'm sort of reeling. Yesterday was the very last day of work and the second I stepped on the escalator to make my final descent, I felt a bit overwhelmed. I rubbed my hand on the escalator railing, like petting a cat, and said "Goodbye little buddy. Be good to the new people."

And even though I have a bit of a plan while on this unemployment, I really am in the wind. It would be a lie to say the walls didn't close in a bit at some point mid-afternoon.

Tonight when I got home, after seeing three former coworkers, it sort of settled in that they were former.

So I wallowed.

There wasn't any ice cream or alcohol involved.

Instead, I sat on my couch in the dark and pretended I was going to wake up in the morning and go to work. I was going to grab a cup of coffee in the cafe, say hello to RW and then head up the escalator, looking back over the store like always, checking out who was on the book floor, who was the register.  Then I would go in the office and GM would be sitting at her desk and she would shout "BRY!"

The best way to start the day.

After a good ten minutes of wallowing, the Drop Top caught up with me and I had to pee.

Mid-pee, I remembered the toilet paper was in the car and the best way to rectify the situation was to just take a shower.

And once I was squeaky clean, I thought, "I better get started on this little thing called life."

So I opened a new checking account, cruised online for job prospects, found the closest post office, and took some deep breaths.

I'm going to be just fine.