I hope you can accept the fact that I'm man enough to tell you this.

Confession: A few nights ago I ate a can of olives for dinner, washed it down with a swig of diet rootbeer and went to bed at 9pm.

Confession: I thought I should name my puppy Mr. Darcy and then decided that was a little much, even for me. But then I found this dude (online) who named his rooster Mr. Darcy. 

Confession: My parents have a rooster named Pickles and he is an asshole.

Confession: I've watched about 20 hours of NCIS this week and am sure I've prematurely aged. Surely I've grown some grey hairs that, should I ever get my shit together to remember to pick up my new glasses, I would probably be able to see. 

Confession: I cleaned out the fridge and there was some really nasty stuff to toss out. I wanted to put a note on the garbage bag warning the man that digs through my dumpster. 

Confession: I can't stop saying confession.

Confession:  I went to Cannon Beach and Seaside today. Walking Mondo in public is worse than logging onto AOL Instant Messenger in 1999.  age/sex/location please? One woman stuck her hand in my coat so she could fondle Mondo. Another girl picked him up and stuck him in her coat while I stood there holding his retractable leash. I'm going to get him a business card and whenever anyone asks for Mondo's lineage, I will hand them the card and walk away. 


Confession: Last week I ate a hamburger from the new food cart across the street. It was a stuffed bleu cheese burger and when I took a bite, the cheese exploded in my face and hair. I had to take a shower to get it out, but my hair still smelled like burger the rest of the day. 


Confession: I'm done. 

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