Set aside the idea that I'm old, I already know. I will admit that I was probably way behind the curve on the whole cell phone phenomenon. Mostly because I was poor and because I didn't understand why it was such a big deal. Also, I was a broke college student. Did I already mention I was poor?
But in 1999 when I enrolled at Linfield College, none of my friends had cell phones. By the time I graduated in 2003, every single person I knew had one.
My first cell phone was a Nokia. I had it for almost exactly a year. I remember getting it the week I was elected student body president because I distinctly remember calling my mom from the phone at Shari's, where we went to celebrate my win. Yes, Shari's. I was a really classy lady back then with a lot of underage friends.
A year later, during my college graduation weekend, my brother and I went to an unnamed fraternity house to buy some weed. On the way out the door of my apartment, I put my half-finished bottle of Coors Light (have you lost all respect for me yet?) in my purse and when we were climbing out of the car at the frat, the beer spilled in my purse and drowned my cell phone.
I was phone-less for a week, until HB and I signed up with Sprint and we had the same exact phone, little red Nokias. There were no games, no texting, no Internet. Just a phone. I had that phone for three years.
Since then, I've gone through a series of phones. All with Sprint.
This is the phone I currently have:
I've had it a year and I love it. I can do anything and everything from this phone. I could probably figure out a way to murder you from this phone. I would have to completely destroy the phone as evidence, but I could do it.
I've broken the last three phones.
I washed one. Dropped the next one off a bridge.
My current phone has been dropped on the cement, the side of a mountain, in the kitchen, on the beach and numerous restaurant and bar floors. I am quite frankly amazed it survived until now. If my cell phone were a baby, I'd be in jail. But you know what did it in? I was at the convention center meeting AC and MD at the holiday craft fair. I texted AC to say I was in line. I put the phone in my pocket. A minute later I heard a text alert. I pulled the phone out of my pocket and the screen was completely black. I was unable to bring it back to life and a tech at the store pronounced it dead.
The good news is that as my cell phones evolved over the years, I started paying for the insurance. And thank the good Lord, because I had to use that insurance this morning to replace my phone.
I don't have health insurance, I don't have home insurance, I don't have insurance for my dog. But I do pay $5 a month to insure a cell phone. My priorities might be out of wack.
It cost $100 to replace my phone through this insurance. I'm going to call my senator and complain because that is outrageous. Last night, as I sat on the couch depressed by the financial burden of it all, I seriously considered NOT getting a cell phone. I thought of getting a home phone and an answering machine. So retro!
But then I thought about driving to Montana all alone with just a little Mondito as companion and getting a flat tire or getting stranded and having to walk for help or wait on the side of the road for a kindly non-serial killer trucker to stop and help. And then I thought about not being able to call my Mommer whenever I want. How could I google at a moment's notice? How could I photograph Mondo's every breath. How could I find the closest burrito seller? And it was all just too much.
This time tomorrow, I will have my phone back. I filed the claim online and they overnight a replacement for free.
Hi. My name is Bryanne Hoeg and I am a cellular addict. It has been 48 hours since my last fix.
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