A blog to prove to you that not all of my interactions with children are unpleasant.

A well known fact about Bry, kids are not my forte. 

Sometimes when I look at kids, especially if they are annoying me, I can feel all of my reproductive organs shrivel up and freeze. I'm continually amazed by my friends that want to have children, as much as they are amazed at my disinterest in having children.

This is not to say I don't like children, so don't write me an angry letter or unfriend me from Facebook. I actually love most children but hate their parents. So write me an angry letter about being a parent-hater. Thusly, if I like you, I like your kids.

I like babies. I like to hold them and then give them back to their parents.
I like talking to kids. But I like giving them back when it is time for the feeding and doctoring.
I like it when kids say outrageously funny things. I do not like it when they cry. 


Today I took IK to his daycare for a Valentine's Day Party. He goes to the Y a few days a week and I watch him on Tuesdays.

As soon as we walked into the room, I was surrounded by 20 noisy kids. Several of them had runny noses and I couldn't help staring at their snotty faces and imagining the germs lurking in the rivers of snot rolling down their faces.

Obama should just take a picture of one million snot-nosed kids and send it to all the Republicans in Congress and say "As soon as you wipe these one million snotty faces using nothing but your bare hands, then we will talk about your birth control phobia."

While the kids were eating their special V-Day snack, one of the kids gave me a physics lesson.

This kid is three, mind you.

"Hey, you! What's your name?"he asks.
"Bry."
"Look." He picks up a blueberry and drops it from a height of about two feet.
"That's gravity."
"You're right, it is gravity," I say.
"What goes up must come down."
"What if it doesn't come down?" I ask.
"Everything comes down. That's gravity."

I can't help but wonder if this is his little kid pickup line. Like a "the human brain weighs 8 pounds" for 2012.

Earlier today, as we were dressing for the party, IK asked what Valentine's Day is all about.

"What does Valentine's Day mean?" he asked.
"It is a day every year when you tell everyone you love how much you love them. And sometimes you give your mommy, or friends, or boyfriend or girlfriend flowers and candy."
"Can we get Casius some candy because he is my boyfriend."

After the party, IK and I sat on the couch and read all of his Valentines from his friends.

"This one is from Alaska."
"She gave me a Valentine because she loves me and I love her."

IK has a lot of love to spread.

"Can we go to the lego museum?" he asked.
"The lego display isn't at the museum any more. It went to a new museum in another town."
"Oh. Then can we go to the book museum?"
"Do you mean the library?" I asked.
"Yes. I like the book museum."