It started with a shirt and then turned strangely medical in nature.

Around about two hours into my day of work, I realized the shirt I'm wearing is probably not a shirt at all, but one of those really long swimsuit tops that pregnant and/or fat woman wear.

I went into the bathroom and needed to scratch a part of my body under my shirt (I'm wearing a new bra), as I was pulling my shirt down, I noticed the shirt has a rather strange lining. I ultimately ended up undressing, in the men's bathroom of a Kung-Fu studio. Don't ask.

 Fine.

It is the closest bathroom to the office. The last time I went to the actual lady bathroom, I had to walk through the Kung-Fu studio and there were three women doing a fan dance. And then I got performance anxiety thinking these women, doing a very beautiful and serene Japanese fan dance, were going to hear me peeing.

Once again, Google Images comes to my rescue. 

As for my shirt, sadly, there was no label to confirm my suspicions. But it feels like swimwear. This is what happens when you do your shopping at Goodwill. Not just Goodwill, but the Goodwill Bins.

Have you ever been to the Goodwill Bins (also known as Goodwill Outlet)?  They are simultaneously the coolest and grossest place you will ever shop. Essentially, the other Goodwill stores send unsalable items to the outlets where they dump the product into gargantuan bins. The shopper then digs through the bins to find their treasures. You pay by the pound, so you could walk away with the some good stuff for cheap.

Unfortunately, the products are usually dirty and stained. You never know when you will come across a poop blanket as you paw through the bins. I've found some cute purses and scarves and a number of shirts. So the risk of catching small pox from a dirty shirt is worth it in the end.

If you are thinking of taking a trip to your nearest Goodwill Outlet, may I suggest the following supplies.

Apply liberally. 

Great for dirty piles of clothes and rectal exams. 

Bargain hunters are strangely aggressive.

My housemate AM recently started a Tumblr of the weird shit found at the thrift store she works at. I highly suggest you check it out. It is funny and disturbing.

First Rate Secondhand is the blog. Here is a sample.

Don't even think of dressing like this. Ever. Not even for  Halloween.

I wish I'd snapped that up. Mom's birthday is in a few months and I'm sure her nursing home staff would love a statue like this.

As for my bathing suit couture. Am I going to continue to wear it? Probably. I paid cents on the dollar for this frock and I intend to get my money's worth. Also, you never know when you need to jump in the river at the drop of a hat.

Be prepared. That's what being a Boy Scout taught me.