Old Bry looks nothing like New Bry, still acts the same.

The first thing I do when I wake up is reach for my phone to check my email. 

I've recently become obsessed with The Plaid Barn. Every day, The Plaid Barn posts one craft related item at a huge discount. They only sell one thing at a time and it is different every day. The posts go live on the east coast at 8am which means, depending on the item, it could be sold out by the time I wake up at 8am PST. 

And while I search for the day's deal, I get to wade through at least twenty junk emails. Like the one pictured below. 

While I realize it is the work of a complex set of algorithms and subtly planted cookies that Amazon knows to email me such things, it is more fun to imagine I'm on the their internal list of spinster customers.

I shudder to think of the things they would send me if I really did have cats. 

What Amazon doesn't know is that while I did Google search "pet strollers,"  it was so I could post a picture of one on Facebook as an example of what "rock bottom" is in pet ownership. Or at least that is what I keep telling myself. 

Truth is, I've always had a great love for pets. Here is some photographic evidence from my youth.

Two dogs, Mickey the wiener and Andy the poodle. I'm going to start a band called Poodles and Wieners. Or a burlesque show. I can't decide.

I always used to say "where is that picture of me double fisting two dogs?" until I realized that double fisting is something else. Please do yourself a favor and do not Google "double fisting." You can thank me later.

Clearly I have not out grown the double dog duty. There is Mondo and his frenemy, Rocky "The Rock" Johnson.

I realize that while I'm babbling on about dogs and double fisting, you are more concerned with the glasses I wore as a ten year-old. 

Take a look. Take it all in. This is Bry Hoeg at her best. I'm a dude.

Or how about this one? Classic. Don't be jealous. My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.