Two ten-part lists about me.

I am a woman not unlike most women you know. I have hopes and dreams.

I one day hope to own a cat and a bunny that are best friends.

I overheard two people talking today and one said she hopes to get married one day. They were standing so close to me it was almost like they were in my pocket.

"I hope to get married one day. How about you?" person A asked.

Silence.

And in my head I said "I hope to own a cat and a bunny that are best friends."

And then I told myself. "And now you are old."

You know who thinks about adorable animals? Toddlers and spinsters.

I do have a lot in common with toddlers, actually.

1. I spill things down my front (mostly just coffee).
2. I need WAY more naps than I actually take.
3. I like to eat things that are white. Green, not as much.
4. I firmly believe all pets love me, regardless of the growling they do as I approach.
5. Bathing is optional.
6. I sit too close to the TV.
7. Sometimes the answer you get from me is for a question you didn't ask. The question you did ask? I didn't hear you. Or I lost track and forgot what you asked. Or I rambled on about something else.
8. I'm easily distracted.
9. My stories rarely make sense.
10. I give voices to pets and stuffed animals.

 Here are the ways I am NOT like a toddler.

1. I won't get angry at you when you make me go to bed. I will probably thank you.
2. Even though I love ice cream, I know it is not good to eat it on a daily basis.
3. I do not like cartoons or animation.
4. I have a hard time believing in make believe.
5. I don't need to be reminded that instead of holding my crotch to stop the flow, I can just go to the bathroom and use the toilet.
6. I won't answer a questions like "What do you want for your birthday?" with the plot of Star Wars.
7. I prefer to read books that don't have pictures.
8. I love road trips and car rides. And I won't fall asleep.
9. I understand what a "library voice" is and use it.
10. I believe in pants and the power of pants and the covering up of things by wearing the pants.

Excuse me. I have to step away from my blog to go yell at my barking dogs.

And now I have returned.

What was I saying?