Do me a favor.

I can't say the word jewelry very well.

I put a lot of emphasis on the first syllable, jew, which just sounds terribly inappropriate to say to customers. I sell a lot of jewelry displays. Yesterday I was trying to say "Try this black jewelry stand, it is made of velvet." But I became self-conscious about my pronunciation and I actually said "Try this black jew...uhl-ree stand."

And the words Black Jew were hanging out there in the air for a moment while I tried to get my mouth to finish the rest of the word.

I'm not sure there is a term for my speech impediment, but I do have one.

I cannot say these words:

bourbon (I say bore-bon)
mural (I say merle. Like as in Merle Haggard)
roulette (I say roo-lay)

I never know when my poor pronunciation will rear its ugly head.

I say dash hound instead of dachshund.

I would consider myself a fairly smart person. I mean, I managed to graduate from college without attending a lot of class. (sorry mom).

And I always got decent grades (for the most part, let's not talk about that East/West Philosophy class my senior year).

My main problem is that I'm too lazy. If I read a word I've never heard or read before, I don't look it up in the dictionary. I try to figure out the definition in context of the story or paragraph. This works well for the definition, not the pronunciation. It is a risky gamble.

Obviously, one day, when I say the word, I probably won't say it right.

Here is a real life example.

"It really sucked that I didn't get the job but you know how it is. Sest la vee."

Or perchance I meant c'est le vie?

If you hear me saying words wrong, please correct me. Say "I think that word is pronounced...."

I mean. Go ahead and laugh at me first. But then help me out.

I'm too lazy to help myself.