Amends for Poor Spelling

I was sort of feeling bad about all the terrible grammar mistakes I made in my last post. I swear I read what I write before I post, but commas and extra words are like the cobwebs and dust in your own home, after a bit you don't even see it.

I stopped feeling bad about the mistakes at about 2 a.m. that night when after a rousing Candy Crush marathon (remember how I said I deleted it, well that didn't last long) I decided to bore myself to sleep by reading the news.

Which is when I saw this.

If ABC News can misspell "revealed" in a headline, then I can misspell whatever I want.

And now to change subjects abruptly.

Tonight a strange man came to the door. Luckily our dogs are assholes so there was no reason to open the door too far, but he wanted me to call him a cab. Apparently he was being hassled by someone down the street. So I called a cab. But of course it took forever to get the dispatch on the line.

And then of course the man kept wanting to ask if I'd called, talking to me through the door. I woke AM up and she came into the living room and yelled at him through the door, asking if he wanted a cab or the police.

Which I think is when she scared him into putting some money in our mailbox for our troubles.

Because he lingered for a very long time and because we live in the hood, we also opted to call non-emergency to have someone stop by.

And of course the cop that showed up fifteen minutes later (faster than a 911 call, if you ask me) was super hot. How is it that the cops that come to your house when you are wearing long johns and pajamas are hot but the cops that come to the door when you're looking mighty fine are old and clearly on a donut diet?

Huh? How is that fair.

I told him what happened. I said "And he said he put money in the mailbox." Officer McHottie put on some rubber gloves and opened the mailbox. Two crumpled up dollars sat inside.

"I don't want it," I said.

"Neither do I," he responded. And closed the mailbox back up.

He left shortly thereafter, I'm sure to drive by the park where all of the shenanigans happen late at night.

I'm so happy we keep a bat by our front door. And that Mondo and Seeley are jerks.

I can't decide if I should leave the two bucks in the mailbox for the mail lady or take it and buy myself a PBR.

And I really do owe the mail lady some amends.